Save Me, Squally-Poo!
by Polalis
Summary: Just a Humor Fic of how Rinoa Whines alot and Squall cant stand it! Uses Minor Curse words.


Bringing to you the Final Fantasy VIII FanFic...  
  
~Save Me, Squally-poo!~  
  
Rated PG for Language and some Mild Sexual Themes.  
  
  
  
Disclamer: Final Fantasy 8 is property of SquareSoft.  
  
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"Squall! Squall! Squall! SQUALL!!!" Rinoa cried out with a voice of panic. Squall tried his to best to ignore her, yet her whiney voice cut through his skull. Zell nudged him in the ribs. "Please Squall, go shut her up! PLEASE!" Squall winced as her voice became higher pitched. "...Quistis...please." he begged. Quistis glared at him, then nodded. "SHUT UP RINOA!" she hollered. Rinoa stopped whining, then walked up to Quistis. "But I wanted my Squally-poo to save meeeeeeeeeee!" she whined. "Just shut up!" Quistis said.  
  
Bad move.  
  
Rinoa immediately burst into tears, and reached out and slapped Quistis across the face. Quistis lurched back and hit with even harder force. "OooOooo...Cat Fight! Reoow!" Zell said, cheering for Quistis. "Who you slapping, Bizahtch?" Rinoa snarled, aiming for another slap.  
  
All of a sudden, for no particular reason, Seifer ran across the scene, being chased by a kitten with huge fangs. Selphie giggled. "What a cuuuuute likkle Kitty Cat!". Selphie then chased after the kitty and Seifer. Seifer screamed like a girl. "AUUGH!!!! The kitty is eating m--- mrfglegras!".  
  
Thus the Kitty swallowed him whole.  
  
As soon as the kitty stopped running, Selphie immediately gained a burst of speed and begana to pet it behind the ears.  
  
Thus, the Kitty swallowed her whole as well.  
  
Poor Irvine, heartbroken, quickly dashed towards the kitty. "Nooo!!! Selphie-kins! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!". *Irvine rips off his clothes and is in only a leopard print thong and carries a whip* . "Ill kill you kitty! SAAAAAADIIIIIIISTIIIIIC FEEEEEEEEDOOOOOONGAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" screaming his war cry, Irvine lept at the kitty, chopping off its tail. Outraged, the kitty swallowed Irvine whole.  
  
The last of the group just stared dumbly during this whole predicament. Rinoa scratched her head quizically. "What were we just doing?" she asked Quistis. "Hmm...I dunno." she replied. Rinoa tried as hard as she could to remember, then just shrugged. "Lets skip!" she cried. Then she and Quistis linked arms and skipped into the sunset, back to Balamb Garden, while humming that ridiculously annoying tune from 'The Wizard of Oz'.  
  
  
  
------The Next Day-------  
  
The remainder of the group (Quistis, Squall, Zell, and Rinoa.) were scheduled to go out to that day, and immediately set out at the break of dawn. Squall could tell that the day was going to be long...long and unbearably annoying, as soon as Rinoa began to whine again.  
  
He didnt have long to wait.  
  
"Save me, Squally-poo!!!" Rinoa cried as a tiny Muu nibbled at her ankle. "Its going to eat me Squally!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" she whinged. Squall gritted his teeth and ran over to her and picked up the Muu and placed it back into the shrubbery. "Squally poo, your my hero!" Rinoa squealed as she lept on to Squall's back, kissing the top of his head.  
  
All throughout the day, Rinoa cried and whined and whinged for her Squally-poo, and all throughout the day, Squall had to restrain himself from shoving his foot up her...ehr...butt. By the end of the day, his nerves and patience were shot, and almost every little thing bothered him. "Squally-poo! Save me!" Rinoa screamed as a grasshopper landed on her arm. "Eeeeeeek!!!" she cried and she desperately tried to flick the insect off. At that moment, Squall finally cracked.  
  
"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!" he hollered in her face. Rinoa blinked a few times, then burst into tears. "Squally! Dont you love me? Ill kill myself if you dont!" she asked. Squall glanced at her. "...Whatever." was all he said. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" she screamed high pitchedly. Squall grimaced. "God, your such a whiney little thing!" he said. Rinoa continued to whine.  
  
At last, the moment we've all been waiting for!  
  
Squall quickly whipped out his gunblade, and chopped off Rinoa's head. Zell and Quistis cheered. "YaY dude! Ya did it! Now our group is even and one of us aint stuck alone because we're only allowed three to a party!" Zell exclaimed. Quistis began to jump up and down. "Yay! Yay! Yay!" she cheered. Then she all of a sudden became serious. "Squall, this may be the wrong time to admit this, but I have always loved you!" she said. "Me too, Quisty! I love you!" Squall said. They ran to eachother, engaging into a passionate kiss, as Zell sat back and watched. "OooOooo!!! FREE ALMOST- PORN!!!" he said excitedly giggling like a little girl.  
  
-------AFTERMATH------  
  
Irvine managed to be crapped out alive from the Flesh Eating Kitty, and went on a killing spree and killed all the cats in Winhill. He is now rich and famous for writing porn, which involves alot of whips and hand cuffs.  
  
Selphie also managed to get crapped out alive from the cat, after which she punched Irvine in the face and set him on his Kitty Killing Spree. She was eventually shot at Balamb Garden after harrasing a kid to get him to join the Garden Festival Commity.  
  
Seifer unfortunately, was not crapped out alive. He was hacked up in a hairball. Afterwards, he married Fuijin and they had a little half cat half human boy they named Mr. Skikkles. He then had a Gay love affair with Raijin, and is currently on the run with Raijin fro Fuijin, who is seeking revenge and plans on killing him with a plan that involves toothbrushes, tweezers, a leather thong, a dildo, a whip, and a horny midget. She will not tell us how she plans on using these items.  
  
Rinoa was killed, as you already know, and a long party was held in celebration of her death. Many sacrifices of chipmunks were made during the celebration.  
  
The Flesh eating Kitty lived after hacking and crapping up the people she had swallowed, and took over the world. Soon after, a Rabid Squirrel by the name of Charlie came to her and they were wed. They now have 22 of the ugliest offspring youve ever seen. All of them are named Bubbaboowie.  
  
Squall married Quistis, and soon after killed off Cid and became Headmaster of Balamb Garden, where promiscuous sex is always welcome.  
  
Quistis, soon after her marriage, switched from being a teacher, to being a scientist. She created many new creatures, including Pippy Muunkays, Aqua Twinkies, and Flesh Eating Bunnies. She also created the first bouncing hairball, and a potion to make you have venomous saliva. she is now trying to get many people to join her Cult of Og and is trying to make it an official religion.  
  
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Thsi probably sucks, with my weak attempts at humor. To all you people that loooooove Rinoa, I pity you. Just dont flame me. To all you people who HATE Rinoa like I do, YOU RAWK!!!!  
  
I have one last thing to say...  
  
PiPpY MuUnKaY!!! 


End file.
